And Now For the News

Monday, October 25, 2004

Latest Headlines

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
[imagine that!]
[THAT is the problem with today's youth, too MUCH imagination!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really? ]
[No. DUH?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that's taking things a bit far!]
[Yes, but you can be damn sure they'll never jaywalk again]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[ what a guy!]
[no, that's taking things TOO far!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[The no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]
[Maybe they're registered as Democrats?]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[To see if that works any better than a fair trial?]
[well, they won't do the crime again, anyway]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[you think so?!]
[Very logical, Spock!]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
  [who would have thought it!]
[Same folks who think hopes for peace are dulled by war??]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[they may be on to something!]
[They may indeed have been 'on' something]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]
[Opinions will stick forever. Just TRY to get someone to change their mind once it's made up.]

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]
[He's got that ole black magic!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]
[Experimental jet fuel, maybe?]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Tastes like chicken!]
[So does lizard and snake]

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
[That was really giving of himself!]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Texas Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]
[well, they won't do dropout again]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
   [Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
[I certainly hope so!]
{Yes, but pity the team that has to find the caskets and whatnot and bring it back TO the cemetery.)

posted by: jlhpisces at October 25, 2004 22:07 | link | comments (5) |

Comments:

#1 26 October 2004 - 01:17

If you see someone, say "Hi" to them instead of trying to make the modem connect sound.

This was on your funny lists,lol
I sometimes refresh your page just to get a new one! lol