Espresso Ramblings

Things I think about while under the influence of too much coffee...or not enough coffee...

Zen Thoughts

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much
leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
tire leak.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
car payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their
shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put
it back in your pocket.

posted by: jlhpisces at July 30, 2004 20:34 | link | comments (3) |

Comments:

#1  30 July 2004 - 23:15

 

I agree with #4
Sex is about 90% of a relationship if it's bad but if it's good, it's only about 20%. Does that make sense?

hookemup

#2  01 August 2004 - 00:05

 

I don't know about that last comment, but I like a lot of these, mind if I steal a few for the office watercooler?

RicoAnthony

#3  01 August 2004 - 21:55

 

Borrow away, as I borrowed them from an email sent to me by a witty friend at work...as for hookemup's comment, since she's in what sounds like a great relationship, she must be in the happier 20%...being single, I'm in the unnamed percentage that DOESN'T REMEMBER!! :)

jlhpisces

Comments: