Things I think about while under the influence of too much coffee...or not enough coffee...
Name: J H
Aimlessly Rambling
American Girl
artwalk
Butterfly's Flutter-bys
Hamstermotor
I Was Just Thinking...
Lying Bastard
Monte Cristo
My Journey
Ones and Zeros
Phin's Blog
she-said-hopefully
THE DAILY BLITZ
The Kitchen Blog
The simple life: Talking to myself
Underdeveloped Psyche
Woodland Forays
 lunar phases |
femmefatale on ...
| J | Jealous |
| L | Luscious |
| H | Handy |
| P | Popular |
| I | Important |
| S | Sophisticated |
| C | Crazy |
| E | Emotional |
| S | Silky |
today
June 2006
May 2006
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
visited *loading* times
Yes, these are terrible, yes, I probably will offend someone again, and yes, I laughed my ass off...
Benign................What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria........... ...Back door to cafeteria.
Barium................What you do with dead folks.
Cesarean Section.......A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan................Searching for the cat.
Cauterize..........Made eye contact with her.
Colic...............A sheep dog.
Coma...............A punctuation mark.
D&C...............Where Washington is.
Dilate.............To live longer than your kids do.
Enema.............Not a friend. Hospital............The biggest building in town, other than Joe's feed warehouse or Frank's lumbermill.
Fester............Quicker than someone else.
Fibula............A small lie.
G.I. Series.........World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail...........What you hang your coat on.
Hospital............The biggest building in town, other than Joe's feed warehouse or Frank's lumbermill.
Impotent...........Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain..........Getting hurt at work.
Morbid..............A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates............Cheaper than day rates.
Medical Staff.......A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake.
Node....................I knew it
Outpatient..............A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear................A fatherhood test.
Pelvis...................Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative...........A letter carrier.
Recovery Room....Place to do upholstery.
Secretion.......Hiding something
Seizure..........Roman emperor who lived in the Caesarean Section.
Tablet..........A small table to change babies on.
Terminal Illness....Getting sick at the train station
Tumor...............More than one.
Urine...............Opposite of mine.
Varicose............Near by
Interesting...don't tell me how it's done if you figure it out!! Click here.
Were Gus Hansen and Simon Cowell separated at birth? If you gave the WPT hottie some hair, he could sit in on American Idol any time...I've been watching poker again over the last few weeks and I just have to say that I love the guy!! He has a ton of skill, winning with hands that the rest of us would fold in a heartbeat...and check out those arms, by the way...Can I have him? :)
Answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions.
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller &stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
I was going to look back and see what I had posted about last year for my birthday, but I wasn’t blogging then! Hard to believe…anyway…
Had a really great birthday this year, starting with a great birthday lunch at work (with the best homemade enchiladas I’ve ever had…) proceeding to beverages at TSA (our local brewery) with some good friends. Then went with msbhivin to the RR, where we proceeded to hang out in front of the jukebox, taking up two tables like we owned the place…msbhivin extorting drinks out of men with her umbrella, and me dirtying up the extra chair with my wet boots…after many more Maker’s and coke than I thought were possible, we made our way back and forth across town before deciding to go for breakfast…by the time we made it home it was 3am, and we had another night out ahead…
Waking to the smell of bacon at around 7am on Saturday, I merrily buried my head in the covers and went back to sleep. At around 10a I stirred myself and was just in time for a great breakfast (moms make the best)! This was followed by several hours of shopping, for DVDs and anything else we could find…before I knew it we only had an hour and a half before we were supposed to meet everyone for dinner! That is not nearly enough time!!
Needless to say, we were late…After straightening out a big snafu with our reservations, we all were seated for dinner…there was msbhivin and me, S and her husband J, who is like my big brother and I just love, their friend D, who’s just moved back from Florida…we’re happy he’s back, S and her husband R (S is great and this is the first time they’ve gone out with us, which I think is awesome!), K and J, who got married on September 11th this year and are just the best, and then B, who is the Director of Ops at my work…my boss’ boss…but since by boss is leaving (another long sad story that I’m not going to tell!) he’s actually my boss, too. He’s a great guy…well anyhow, I was looking around at this group, and I just marveled at the fact that A) they were a totally diverse group, and B) everyone was having such a GREAT time…I just loved that!
So after a yummy dinner (with lots of beer to wash it down), we made our way downtown to the bar…and proceeded to drink and make merry for the next couple of hours…nothing bad happened, no one got mad, or to drunk…no one in our group, anyway…there was this couple at the bar that should had been cut off looong before…
So all in all. it was a great birthday...the cop was nice, even wishing me a happy birthday, and the taxi driver took us home without murdering us, which was especially swell... :) Can't wait till next year!
My son has a project for the end of the year to learn a poem. When I was little, my aunt and my mom both knew The Jabberwocky by heart, and passed it on to me. And now my mom and I have passed it on to my son. I just think it's awesome. To hear him reciting something from my childhood, just really gives me a kick. Plus it's a cool poem, and a little longer than some...I'm just so proud of him and had to share!
The view from my gigantic window is very lovely today...the sky is blue, the flowery trees are blooming...my boss is off today and I want to go home! Plus I think the cold that I fought off earlier this week has decided to return...Blech...just in time for the weekend. I am envisioning my couch and a blanket as we speak...but that reminds me that my remote died last night! Must get a new one! And yes, the TV and cable have controls on them, but have you ever noticed how hard it is to scroll through the channels when you have to stand in front of the TV to do it?? That doesn't fit into my scheme of being comfy!
So, I decided that I have to post about Rob Thomas, trying not to drool in the process... Of course, also the lead singer of matchbox20, he has a solo album due out in April. The first single is "Lonely No More," and it rocks! :) Not to mention, Rob is looking very hot with the new super-short hair...check out the video clip on his site! Can't wait for that tour...
Read a hysterical article in Spin Magazine by Dave Eggers. You may have read Eggers before with "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius," which, in my opinion, was fantastic...anyway, something about this article just appealed to me, so I thought I would share...UPDATE...This is not the article I thought it was when I started (Eggers has a regular column with the magazine), this article is even better!
I'd have to say that Simon is my favorite, but since he's neither American nor singing, I guess I have to pick someone else, too...first the guys...
Bo - Allman Brother wannabe...don't like the hair, don't like the suede pants, don't like the Shaggy-style lip hair...not a bad voice, but a bad package.
Constantine - Left his band to be here...Could channel Gavin Rossdale if he tries a little harder. That would be a good thing. Better than Bo, but still not my pick...
Anwar - the sweet dreadlocked music teacher. Can really rock when he chooses, has a pretty good voice...maybe...
Scott - has really polished his image since the tryouts...has a good voice, but I don't know about star potential...
Mario - Reminds me of Jaye Davidson...if he were in a boy band...has lots of charm...but can he really sing?
Anthony - Consistently the best to me...gets compared to Clay Aiken by Simon, which is not a good thing...but I think he has my vote out of the remaining six...
