Things I think about while under the influence of too much coffee...or not enough coffee...
Name: J H
Aimlessly Rambling
American Girl
artwalk
Butterfly's Flutter-bys
Hamstermotor
I Was Just Thinking...
Lying Bastard
Monte Cristo
My Journey
Ones and Zeros
Phin's Blog
she-said-hopefully
THE DAILY BLITZ
The Kitchen Blog
The simple life: Talking to myself
Underdeveloped Psyche
Woodland Forays
 lunar phases |
femmefatale on ...
| J | Jealous |
| L | Luscious |
| H | Handy |
| P | Popular |
| I | Important |
| S | Sophisticated |
| C | Crazy |
| E | Emotional |
| S | Silky |
today
June 2006
May 2006
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
visited *loading* times
Went to a going away party for a coworker on Friday. My intentions were good, but we all know how that goes...We went to a newer brewery that serves some really good beers. I chose a good one, of course, called Salvation, ironically enough, which at 9% is really strong...and I didn't eat anything...is this painting a clear picture? :) But it was fun. I'm sorry that this person is leaving, but it did give us a great chance to celebrate...
Q. How do you get down off a horse?
A. You don't get down off a horse, you get down off a duck.
It's funny, there are some weeks that the weekend arrives and catches me by surprise, the week has just rushed by and then it's Friday. This week is not one of those. I guess part of it is that I spent last weekend cleaning house, running errands, paying bills, grocery shopping, and dealing with that financial issue that I mentioned (and driving into a ditch full of mud, let's not forget that little detail). So even with the three day weekend, I didn't really feel like I had a break...then we get to the workweek that demands all of my energy and attention. I did get the chance yesterday to order some cool green contact lenses, though, I am excited about that... So I'm really looking forward to just hanging out this weekend...and the damn weekend won't get here!!
On another note, I've been indulging in Ebay over the last couple weeks. I was trying to commit to buying some perfume at the department store when I realized that I wasn't really sure what I wanted...I've been alternating between Dior Addict, Kenneth Cole New York, and Contradiction, and I realized that I also want to try Kenneth Cole Black...all of which would be much too much to buy at the dept. store. So on to Ebay, where I was able to find some of each (not the Black yet, but I'm looking) for much much less! Of course I also had to get several other things as well, but that's OK...that reminds me...I should look again. There's the Miami Vice DVD set (the whole first season!) that I have to have!!
The Washington Post published a contest for readers in which they were asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of the winning entries:
Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
Pokemon (n.), a Jamaican proctologist.
Rain rain go away...at least for a few days! It's really hard to be feeling really cheerful and positive and look outside at a sky that looks gray and dim and dismal! It's ammazing how much of an effect the weather can have on your mood...I know that this is an actual disorder, but I always think of it as something affecting people in places like Alaska or Seattle that have drastic weather issues...not here in (supposedly) sunny California...BUT, the other day was actually clear, and the sun was shining (well, rising) through my window, and it definitely adds a positive note to the day. But I will carry on...things are going well, and I hope in my superstitious heart that I am not jinxing myself by writing about it!
I had a comment on a post from yesterday from Mara, who has a great blog about Africa and African wildlife, topics which seem to be her passion. Not only are there some great wildlife pics, but she talks about that areas political issues as well, which I think is interesting, considering that I am TOTALLY ignorant about their issues. Anyway, it's worth a look!
I keep meaning to post about Mr2Good, who's blog has gone and I'm told was a hoax anyway...now this got me thinking...why in the world would you create a fake blog? It just seems odd to me, sort of like the journalist that made up his stories...what's the point? I mean, I don't have a lot going on in my life, and I still feel like I can talk about real events and be at least somewhat interesting...so why make it up? But that's just my opinion...
Over the past two weeks, I've been feeling really stressed and pressured about something. I won't go into details except to say that it was a financial sort of something looming over me that I wasn't sure how to deal with, and that I didn't really see a clear path. And my natural habit is to stress and dwell on it, but not actually deal with it until it's too late to have any choice, it just happens. But Thursday, I realized that just because I've always done that didn't mean that I had to KEEP doing it. So I took the bull by the horns so to speak and threw my best idea out there to deal with it. And guess what? It worked! Or should say, it's working. And all I had to do was choose to deal with it. I'm really proud of me and I thought I'd share that. Gosh, it's another one of those moments that means I'm actually growing up instead of just older...
Every once in awhile, someone sends me some good jokes that aren't exactly what we call politically correct...but I think they're funny. So if you're the type that gets offended easily, you're probably not reading my blog anyway...but if you are...proceed with caution:
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only
on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
What's the Cuban National Anthem?
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Not only did I get a very nice virtual flower from Mr2Good2BeTrue, who's new to motime but who's blog is just too interesting to pass up, I also won the raffle at work for a dozen beautiful red roses! Yay for me!
Happy Valentine's Day to you all. I have to say that this has not been my favorite day, since I've been single, but I can buy my own damn flowers! :)
This is long, but I thought some of these were too funny not to pass on!
404 - Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, “404 Not Found,” which means the document requested couldn’t be located. “Don’t bother asking John. He’s 404.”
Adminisphere - The rarified organizational layers above the rank and file that makes decisions that are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant.
Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. “I dunno, ask Rick. He’s our alpha geek.”
Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
Batmobiling - putting up emotional shields. Refers to the retracting armor that covers the Batmobile as in “she started talking marriage and he started batmobiling”
Beepilepsy - The brief siezure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.
Betamaxed - When a technology is overtaken in the market by inferior but better marketed competition as in “Microsoft betamaxed Apple right out of the market”
Blamestorming - A group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Blowing Your Buffer - Losing one’s train of thought. Occurs when the person you are speaking with won’t let you get a word in edgewise or has just said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. “Damn, I just blew my buffer!” (Synonym: “Head Crash”)
Body Nazis - Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn’t work out obsessively.
Bookmark - To take note of a person for future reference. “After seeing his cool demo at Siggraph, I bookmarked him.”
Brain Fart - A byproduct of a bloated mind producing information effortlessly; a burst of useful information. “I know you’re busy on the Microsoft story, but can you give us a brain fart on the Mitnik bust?” Variation of old hacker slang that had more negative connotations.
CGI Joe - A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.
Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
Chip Jewelry - Old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into decoration. “I paid three grand for that Mac and now it’s nothing but chip jewelry.”
Chips and Salsa - Chips = hardware, salsa = software. “First we gotta figure out if the problem’s in your chips or your salsa.”
CLM (Career Limiting Move)- Used by microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. “Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.”
Cobweb - A WWW site that never changes.
Crapplet - A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. “I just wasted 30 minutes downloading that crapplet!”
CROP DUSTING - Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING.....
Cube Farm - An office filled with cubicles.
Dead Tree Edition - The paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic forms.
Dilberted - To be exploited and oppressed by your boss, as is Dilbert, the comic strip character. “Damn, I’ve been dilberted again! The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week.”
Dorito Syndrome - The feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. “I just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now I’ve got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome.”
Egosurfing - Scanning the Net, databases, etc., for one’s own name.
Elvis Year - The peak year of popularity as in “1993 was Barney the dinosaur’s Elvis year”
Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.
Generica - Fast food joints, strip malls, sub-divisions as in “we were so lost in generica that I couldn’t remember what city it was”
Glazing - Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open; a popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. “Didn’t he notice that by the second session half the room was glazing?”
Going Postal - Totally stressed out and losing it like postal employees who went on shooting rampages
GOOD job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
Gray Matter - Older, experienced business people hired by young entrepreneurial firms trying to appear more professional and established.
Graybar Land - The place you go while you’re staring at a computer that’s processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar creep across the screen). “That CAD rendering put me in graybar land for like an hour.”
High Dome - Egghead, scientist, PhD
Idea Hamsters - People whose idea generators are always running.
Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.
It’s a Feature - From the old adage, “It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.” Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant problem you wish to gloss over.
Keyboard Plaque - The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on some people’s computer keyboards.
Link Rot - The process by which web page’s links become obsolete as the sites they’re connected to change or die.
Meatspace - The physical world (as opposed to the virtual) also “carbon community” “facetime” “F2F” “RL”
Mouse Potato - The online generation’s answer to the couch potato.
Ohnosecond - That minuscule fraction of time during which you realize you’ve just made a terrible error.
Open-Collar Workers - People who work at home or telecommute.
Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
Perot - To quit unexpectedly. “My cellular phone just perot’ed.”
Plug-and-Play - A new hire who doesn’t require training. “That new guy is totally plug-and-play.”
Prairie Dogging - When something loud happens in a cube farm, causing heads to pop up over the walls trying to see what’s going on.
Ribs ‘N’ Dick - A budget with no fat as in “we’ve got ribs ‘n’ dick and we’re supposed to find 20K for memory upgrades”
Salmon Day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end. “God, today was a total salmon day!”
Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.
Siliwood - The coming convergence of movies, interactive TV and computers; also “Hollywired”
SITCOMs - What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. “Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage”
Square-Headed Spouse - Computer
Squirt the Bird - To transmit a signal up to a satellite. “Crew and talent are ready...what time do we squirt the bird?”
Starter Marriage - A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
Stress Puppy - A person who thrives on being stressed-out and whiny.
Swiped Out - An ATM or credit card that has been used so much its magnetic strip is worn away.
Tourists - Those who take training classes just to take a vacation from their jobs. “There were only three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists.”
Treeware - Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
Umfriend - One with whom one has a sexual relationship; as in, “this is Dale, my...um...friend.”
Under Mouse Arrest - Getting busted for violating an online service’s rule of conduct. “Sorry I couldn’t get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest.”
Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Also: decruitment.
Vulcan Nerve Pinch - The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key.
WOOFYS - Well Off Older Folks.
World Wide Wait - The real meaning of WWW.
Xerox Subsidy - Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.
Yuppie Food Coupons - Twenty dollar bills from an ATM.
